QUESTION: Hi Mike, I am thinking about incorporating input from a director of sales, chief marketing officer on taking search details from new clients.  Here is the language I want to use.

Mr. Hiring Manager,

The people I will be reaching out to make judgments on the quality of the opportunities based on the depth of knowledge I have about your company.  Your chief marketing officer thinks about things from a unique background which can be instrumental with what I do to build a value proposition about working for your organization.  I would like to spend a few minutes by phone with the CMO to supplement what you have shared with me today.  Are you okay with that?  Excellent.  Who would you recommend I speak with?  – Tom, Colorado

ANSWER: I like the concept, however, I have counted 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 “I’s” in there.  I need, I need, I want to, I will be . . . That is the only thing that jumps out at me is the “I” focus.  Almost the same language and the same concept because I agree 100% with the concept.  A marketing executive or a director of sales does have a unique perspective and is kind of on the front lines.  They have to be well aware of how their company is perceived in the marketplace.

I would just say, with talent so tough to attract I need every angle possible.  I know I just said I need every angle possible to help attract the best available person on the marketplace.  People in marketing and sales generally have additional insight beyond yours.  This way I do not insult theirs.  Additional insights beyond yours because they are kind of on the front line every day and as many perspectives as I have about how the company is viewed in the marketplace is going to increase the likelihood of you (not me), you attracting the best available person on the market.

So typically the conversation is best with the chief marketing officer.  “Joe, who is your CMO and what is the contact information so I can get a hold of him to have a very brief conversation.  I was hoping you could help me set that call to get his or her perspective.”

Notice, I think I said “I” once or twice.  Your ability to attract.  I am going to go assumptive.  I am not going to ask is it okay.  I want to make it sound like it is almost asinine for you to say it is not okay.  Or, why do you not ask me the questions and I will ask them.  No.  Because that is the old telephone line call.  So I love the concept.  I would just change the focus from you to them and constantly thinking about the benefit to them.  But I love the idea.  I love the idea.