This is from Joseph in Santa Monica. Mike, I have read some of your blog posts and heard some of your webinars. You talk about getting clear on desire and getting clear on what you want. My biggest question is, I am not sure what I know what I want. How do you determine that?
That is a fantastic question. Most people are unclear about what they want, so do not beat yourself up. People that struggle the most live in a world of “shoulds” and “realistic,” so when I coach them, there is that underlying energy of something they should or should not be doing – they will never say it like this – but they think what I want is not realistic.
The Process for Identifying Your Desires
David Neagle taught me this process, and I’ll relay it to you. That process really is to sit down, give yourself five or 10 minutes, almost meditatively, and ask yourself what you want – it may come to you instantly, it may take a few days or weeks – just think.
Here is what is going to happen. There is going to be something that comes up over and over again. You have probably already experienced that, but your brain goes: that is too expensive, I shouldn’t want that, or that is unrealistic.
The Law of Polarity: How It Guarantees Your Success
You cannot have a desire without having a path to get there at the same time. That is the law of polarity, meaning you cannot have a problem without having a solution, an up without a down, a left without a right. You cannot have a desire and not have a way to get there because, generally, these desires are planted to you through God, Spirit, or the Universe, depending on your religious beliefs. You will find all these concepts, by the way, in all major religions. They are universal.
One of the reasons we call these universal laws is that if you have a desire, you do not have to know how to get it the moment you have the desire. You only have to figure out the first small step to take. Then you have to have faith that the other steps will show up. For you control freaks out there, and I am a recovering control freak, that is painful to hear.
The Surrender Experiment
There is another book I read four or five years ago that changed my life: The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. The whole concept of that book was that in his early 20s, he agreed to do everything in front of him, whether he really wanted to do it or not. It was almost like the movie, The Yes Man.
Singer wasn’t following desire but showing us the concept of surrender. My advice would be to surrender to your desire. Then, take the first step and take action. The key is you are not sitting there manifesting this on your couch, praying over it, hoping it comes. A desire comes up, and again, one of the reasons we do not take action on it, as we talked about earlier, is it is too expensive, it is unrealistic, you do not understand, I have a wife and two kids, I cannot figure it out.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Trusting in Action
David Neagle had a wife, four kids, debt, and was making about $60,000 a year. He was living paycheck to paycheck. He concluded he had to quit his job to get to the next level because he wanted to start his own business. That is the kind of thing where we talk about staying connected to desire. He made ten times his income within a couple of years. The next step forward showed up as long as he stayed in action.
I am not necessarily recommending that, but I remember him telling me that story when I was worried about taking my business to another level, the things I would have to risk, and the safety I would have to risk. To this day, I have never known somebody that stayed in desire and stayed in action, who did not get what they wanted or significantly better than what they wanted. It requires you to have faith in universal law. Here is the thing, for most of them, the path was significantly different than the path they thought they would have to take.
Actually, it was a more enjoyable path.
I Know What I Want, and It Is Being Revealed to Me
All I can say, in summary, as it relates to “I do not know what I want,” is as long as you tell yourself, I do not know what I want, energetically, you will be resistant, and your brain will tell you all the reasons why you do not see what you want. All this occurs in the background. It does not happen consciously.
Step one, I would change my language to “I know what I want. It is being revealed to me.” Then spend some time and look for those themes in the things that have come up that you have suppressed for various reasons and begin to take action.
What’s Your Money Story?
That is a phenomenal question. In addition to being submitted, it was one of the questions that came up on our mindset call. We had about 70 people on the group training Zoom today. We went into breakouts on what people’s money stories were.
My family’s money beliefs were money is hard to come by, do not go into debt, save a lot, and work hard. None of these are bad in and of themselves.
This past weekend I was with a bunch of old friends, one of them being one of my cousins I grew up with. An ice cream truck went by, and we could hear the bells of the ice cream truck. My cousin and I looked at each other and said in unison, “There’s no way we’re paying those outrageous prices you pay at an ice cream truck. We have ice cream at home.” We ended up paying for it.
When we were kids, the ice cream truck went past our small cottage near the beach every day. A bunch of kids in the neighborhood could get ice cream. My grandmother, his aunt, would say, “We have ice cream in the freezer. There is no reason to buy it. When you buy ice cream off the truck, you are paying for the driver, you’re paying for the truck, you’re paying for the gas. I can go to the grocery store and avoid all those.”
Living in Abundance to Create Space for Desire
Little things like that that you do not even think about consciously can hold you back from going into an abundance mode. When you find yourself in a mode of protecting what you have, you’re not allowing yourself the space to stretch for what you want. When you are in the mode of scarcity and saving, it is like crimping a hose and expecting the water to flow out the other end.
If you are crimping what’s going out, meaning you are trying to be overly frugal, it is very difficult for anything to return in abundance. You are on a frequency of scarcity where you are trying to be tight with your money, and you are trying to be in a spirit of abundance in receiving money.
You are either in abundance all the way through or you are in scarcity all the way through. When hyper-focused on protecting what they have, people are the most reluctant and most afraid of growth. Hopefully, those are a couple quick tips that can help you.
P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 4 ways I can help you grow your recruitment business:
1. Grab a free copy of my Retainer Blueprint
It’s the exact, step-by-step process of getting clients to give you money upfront. https://get.therecruiteru.com/retainer
2. Join the Recruiter Think Tank and connect with firm owners who are scaling too. It’s our Facebook community where smart recruiters learn to make more money and get more freedom. https://www.facebook.com/groups/there…
3. Join me at our next event
3x a year, I run a 3-day virtual intensive, sharing the 9 key areas that drive a 7-figure search firm. Click here to check out the dates of our upcoming event: https://get.therecruiteru.com/emerge
4. Work with me and my team privately
And if you ever want to get some 1:1 help, we can jump on the phone for a quick call and brainstorm how to get you more leads, more placements, and more time. https://get.therecruiteru.com/scale-now
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